Why Do I Have Dirty Home Shame?
In all my years of cleaning houses, I’ve witnessed how people interact with my team and I when we enter someone’s home for the first time or even on a regular basis.
It’s really common for shame to come up for most people when someone sees their home in any state, other than perfection.
Even the hardly touched homes that are super tidy, where dust and debris naturally accumulates, we often get a few mumbles of “oh, sorry…I’m so dirty… excuse my mess”!
Why do we apologize for the messes we make? Between the cultural conditioning of what we think everyone’s homes looks like behind closed doors and the distortion of social media, so many of us tend to feel shame when it comes to how we live.
It’s normal for dust, piles, dishes, projects, etc. to build up. It’s nearly impossible to focus on this all day every day and keep up with the pace of this idea of living in a clean home, perpetually. It’s key to remember this when you wave to your next door neighbor Jane and think to yourself that she has some special secret about keeping a clean home, that you don’t.
The secret is balance. Sometimes you will clean and focus in on the details to refresh your space to make it beautiful again. Other times, you might be busy, tired, or prioritize other things. And this is ok, too!
What matters most, is that you’re taking care of yourself and you’re doing what feels good for you, your home, and the people you live with. That’s going to vary on a day to day basis. As long as you create a routine around consistency and feel empowered around your cleaning practices, I think you’re golden.
Let’s work on less shame and more self compassion, love, and care for ourselves at home.
