The Art of Delegation
Who is this article for?
• Homekeepers: those who manage a household
• Partners that are looking to balance the workload of household chores between each other
• Managers of all kinds
At the peak of my management career, I led a team of 15 employees. While the culture of my company changed in each stage and as my team grew (or shrank), the set of values and principles stayed the same.
I cite the example of managing a business in relation to delegation because — it’s business! What ‘business’ means to each and every person is different. But to me, it means the work that we do that’s ’matter of fact’.
This doesn’t mean we can’t infuse meaning into what we do or have a social impact. But at a baseline, there needs to be oversight and management of a project or task to ensure that all parts are getting done in an ecosystem.
Whether it be home keeping, running a retail store, yard work, or operating a restaurant — it’s the things we do on a regular basis that keeps things in motion. Our work is what creates a livable, peaceful, and thriving environment for ourselves and others. That requires a healthy ecosystem (community). We all have our part inside of this ecosystem.
Are delegation and emotional labor one in the same?
They can be, but they don’t necessarily have to be. To me, the difference between emotional labor and delegation is that delegation calls for a system to be set into place that follows a set of principles. Systems can be duplicated and are easily trainable. While emotional labor is the requirement of critical thinking skills to problem solve.
Delegation does require critical thinking skills and problem solving up front. If done well, it can reduce the amount of emotional labor required to problem solve at a later date.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve personally experienced great emotional pain in the process of problem solving as a manager.
I’m not saying to take emotion away. But what if we actually had more space to process our emotions as a delegator? By having systems and process in place, this creates a structure that we can follow that provides a certain level of emotional safety for ourselves and the people we manage. All in all, it lessens confusion, too.
With systems and processes, it helps us look at a situation in a more objective way. This helps us move through situations more quickly than if we were to approach a situation with emotions, only.
Personally, I trust the power of my intuition, but isn’t it that much more powerful when we can back things up in a concrete way? The following is a set of principles that can be used to delegate or manage. Use this as a guide to live by and watch your relationships thrive.
Agreements
An agreement is a contract between two or more parties that simply states what kind of work each party is responsible for. Agreements can be loosely spoken…or it can be a written contract.
While this sounds so formal, it can actually be a healthy exercise to practice. It basically is a way to state — this is my part, this is your part in the project.
An example: my fiancé and I have a loose agreement with each other that he takes care of the outdoor tasks such as gardening, mowing the lawn, landscaping, etc. and I take care of the of the cleaning. We set our own schedules.
There are ways in which we meet in between and our tasks overlap: he joins in with tidying tasks on cleaning day and I work on larger projects in the yard with him. This feels equal to us and it works because we both enjoy the delegated tasks we’ve chosen.
When it comes to loose (non-contractual) agreements, it’s important to be flexible. Sometimes a pivot needs to be made when something isn’t working. An open minded approach often leads to better agreements that are based on realistic expectations.
Zone of Genius
We all have things that just feel…hard. Other things feel so much more easy to us. Then there are some of us that are neurodivergent, ADHD, and so on. We all have our own flavor of unique expression and talent.
There’s this thing called your zone of genius in which you find, foster and nurture your talents. As a result of finding your zone of genius, you work to spend more time operating from this place of talent and less time doing the things that aren’t in your wheelhouse of expertise.
If you have the financial means to outsource work that you don’t like to do, I highly recommend this. Especially if nobody in your direct ecosystem (household or place of business) likes to do a certain task and/or doesn’t have the skills for it.
For example, I don’t have the skills to trim my trees, so I hired an arborist to come take care of the trees on my property. Same with plumbing, appliance repair, and so on. For those that watched the show Home Improvement in the 90’s, we saw the results of DIY work gone wrong. Don’t get me wrong…DIY work can be incredibly empowering. But it’s important to ask yourself:
Is this a skill that I’m interested in learning because I’m actually interested in it?
Will it enrich my life?
Will it be of use to me?
If the answer is no to all of these questions, then outsource it.
Trust
Every mistake can be a teachable moment if there’s an openness to learn between all parties. There is a certain level of trust that’s required in order to allow for mistakes to even happen in the first place. Trust paves the way for building relationships that strengthens skills. While micro-management creates a level of codependency that undermines ability.
Building trust when delegating out tasks, allows for you to have the peace of mind that things are working out in everyone’s favor…until other information has presented itself.
Trust builds independence and space for all parties to do their best work.
Communication
In terms of delegation, build in touch points of communication. If someone else is doing work for you, you aren’t necessarily required to give feedback. But it sure does help build your communication muscle when the feedback isn’t solely negative or rather, *constructive*. A simple - “hey, you did this really well and I’m grateful for you” is a great touchpoint of communication that requires minimal communication.
In management, there’s also the widely known “feedback sandwich” which goes like this:
Positive reinforcement
Constructive feedback
Positive reinforcement
While I think it can be easy to get into people pleasing tendencies for some of us, I also think it’s a balance between letting go of worrying about how others are going to receive feedback. Simply be direct. I do think however, it’s important that we make others feel appreciated and we also find the gratitude of others being of service to your ecosystem.
Lastly, I think that coming up with a list of core values in an ecosystem is an integral part of co-creating a community together that thrives.
Try this sticky note exercise: Give a sticky note pad to each person and spend 10-15 minutes writing down values (1 per sticky note) that you’d like to see in your home or work environment. After the writing exercise is done, combine your sticky notes together and put them into categories. From there, you can write down a final draft of core values (I would say anywhere from 4-10 values will come out of this).
